No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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