so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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