I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
