I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
