I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
