thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
