so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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