DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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