She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
