I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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