By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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