and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
