I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize