scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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