It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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