I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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