You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude i'm inner monologue high
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
