They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The air was thick with penises
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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