So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I want is dick and wine.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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