You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
