Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
