I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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