you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
