You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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