There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
