it wasn't lemon gatorade
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
