Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
