My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
