Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
