shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
