I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
