no, he came in my armpit
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
