I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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