as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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