She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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