So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
