Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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