Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just found puke in my bra..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
