I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
