Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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