I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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