I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
