Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
