it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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