Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
