I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize