Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
