i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
