Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize