whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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