I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
