found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
