remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
