youre lurking in front of me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
