This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this will be a night to untag.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
