Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
