small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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