"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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